College Football Dive Bar Special: Week 3
Bringing you the best games you probably had no idea were happening between programs you may or may not know exist.
If you’re a casual college football fan or a diehard observer, chances are you already know what games you’ll be watching this weekend. Auburn travels to Happy Valley to take on a surging Penn State in primetime, and you’ll flip between some combination of Miami-Michigan State, Oklahoma-Nebraska, and Alabama-Florida before Seven Nation Army starts blaring inside Beaver Stadium for the first time. You may also check out Purdue vs. Notre Dame if you’re the office weirdo who really likes Ranch dressing despite the fact that it’s “a little spicy these days.” Once big-time conference matchups start popping up around the schedule, your viewing calendar takes on a bit of rote monotony. That’s why we’re here: to help you find the best contests to watch in-between the big game beatdowns, long commercial breaks, and fits of ennui.
To the games!
Wake-N-Bake
No. 15 Virginia Tech vs. West Virginia (FS1, 12 p.m. ET)
I love that we’re renewing this old Big East rivalry between the two programs most likely to have bootlegging boilers buried on campus. Virginia Tech comes into this game having knocked off No. 10 North Carolina at home, while West Virginia barrels in after a blown game to Maryland and a mop-up beatdown of Long Island last week. The Hokies may be the ranked team here, but Vegas has cozied up to the Mountaineers at -2.5. One of the biggest storylines in this matchup comes in how Tech’s offense responds to the loss of perhaps its best player, as NFL hopeful and game-changing tight end James Mitchell has been ruled out for the foreseeable future with a knee injury. That will surely make things tougher against a Mountaineer passing defense that ranked No. 1 in the land last season and is looking to hit its stride. We could have a shootout or a slugfest depending on the way the ball bounces. When Miami-Michigan State becomes too hard to watch, and Scott Frost is burying his head into his play sheet as Oklahoma goes up four scores on Nebraska, you’ll want to flip on this game to see who wins the Black (Lung) Diamond Trophy. Yes, it is a piece of coal.
Amuse-bouche
Mississippi State vs. Memphis (ESPN2, 4:30 p.m. ET)
The trophy for this game should be broken shards of a Miller Light bottle found in the parking lot taped to a subwoofer. And it would be, if fans of both teams wouldn’t spend the next two hours trying to stab each other with the pieces. The Bulldogs were torched by Louisiana Tech in Week 1 but bounced back for a solid defensive win over N.C. State last weekend. The quarterback for Mississippi State’s name is Will Rogers, if that isn’t too on the nose, and he could be a little better than we all thought. Memphis, meanwhile, showers teams in points with an aerial blitz that currently ranks No. 12 in the country at 364 yards per game. Is MSU’s defense for real? Or was shutting down N.C. State like bragging about finding pyrite while digging for gold? We will soon find out, because Memphis and its speedy slot receiver, Calvin Austin III (12 receptions, 286 yards, 4 TDs), are not playing around. This may be the closest game of the day, so be prepared to watch the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid light up in blue if the Tigers pull this one off.
Dive Bar Dinner
Tulane vs. No. 17 Ole Miss (ESPN2, 8 p.m. ET)
When Bo Nix vs. Sean Clifford becomes too stupid to bear, and you realize you don’t have the ACC Network, flip on over to our Game of the Century of the Week between two former SEC rivals. Don’t think Tulane forgot about that whole SEC thing, either. The Green Wave will be sporting some of the sleekest throwbacks in college football history, ones that include SEC Championship helmet stickers from the last time the program was relevant in 1647. Side note: Ole Miss is one of four SEC teams that has not made an appearance in the conference title game.
Willie Fritz’s squad ain’t scared of nothin’, not even the way Lane Kiffin looks. Tulane went to Norman in Week 1 and almost ruined Oklahoma’s playoff dreams before the clock hit 3 p.m. ET. Quarterback Michael Pratt showed insane moxie in that game, and the offense he leads can score on anyone in the country. But Ole Miss might have a defense? And one that isn’t just for show! We all know the Rebels can score, but it’s the Landsharks’ surprising defensive effort so far that has the Black Bears looking like a middle-of-the-pack SEC West contender. Granted, they’ve played the lifeless corpse of Louisville and Austin Peay, but you can still glean valuable information from beating up on patsies. This game will have a mountain of points, beautiful uniform combos, on-field shenanigans, and close-ups of Kiffin’s chin. There is literally nothing else you can ask for in college football.
Midnight Snack
All of Pac-12 After Dark™. All of it. This is not a joke, or a test, or a way for me to finally end this newsletter so I can have a beer for the first time in hours. The games are simply that good. You’ve got No. 19 Arizona State vs. No. 23 BYU, a fiesty Fresno State that almost whacked Oregon taking on No. 13 UCLA, and even a post-midnight Hawaii-San Jose State matchup to chase your gambling losses well into the sad, sweet Sunday morning mist. Pop an Adderall, snort another one, and make sure you are firmly in front of your TV as the West Coast feeds us tiny hits of dopamine between commercials for RAV4s.
Let’s do this.